Does My Baby Have a Tongue Tie?
If you're reading this at 3am with a baby who just won't settle at the breast, I want you to know: this is not your fault.
5 years ago, I watched helplessly as my first-born endured months of colic. She couldn't latch without a nipple shield, and feeds took 30 minutes or more - just on one side. I tried to wean her off the shield, but it turned into a fight every single time. She'd pop on and off the breast crying and I’d get so frustrated.
I want to walk you through what I eventually learned: the signs, the misconceptions, and what actually helped us get answers.
Feeding Signs to Watch For
Baby is unable to latch
Chronic shallow latch
Latch is uncomfortable or painful
Baby falls asleep at the breast within minutes
Feeds take forever, 30 minutes or more
Baby pops on and off during feeds
Low milk supply, no matter what you try
Clicking or gulping sounds
Lip blisters/two-toned lips
Signs That Show Up Beyond the Feed
Reflux (from a poor latch and swallowed air)
Colic (can be hunger from poor milk transfer or low supply)
Not enough wet or dirty diapers (even breastfed babies should be pooping every day)
Slow weight gain
Tight body (body feels stiff, hands always in a fist, won’t lay flat)
Body chronically curves to one side
Flat spot on the head
Torticollis
Even if just a few of these resonate, something is making feeding harder than it should be and it's worth looking into.
Ties Missed and What Finally Got Us Answers
Here's the part of our story that I think matters most.
My birth provider checked my baby at birth but didn't see any ties. So for a while, I crossed tongue tie off the list entirely. I trusted that assessment and tried everything I could to get my baby comfortable.
It wasn't until I got a second opinion from a provider who specialized in ties, that things changed. This provider did a functional oral exam and a whole-body assessment and found a posterior tongue tie, a lip tie, and a cheek tie.
Who you see for a tie assessment matters! And this is no shade to amazing birth providers, hospital staff, or pediatricians. They just don’t receive the specialized training to thoroughly check for ties in their general schooling.
The Biggest Myth About Spotting a Tongue Tie
I want to correct something that trips up so many moms: a tongue tie can't be diagnosed by a picture or by looks alone. If you want to know what a tongue-tie assessment should look like, check out the Oral Function Support Chapter of the At-Home Bodywork Page.
Why a Photo Isn't Enough
It takes a specialized provider doing an actual oral exam, checking how well the mouth and tongue function. They should look at your baby's body as a whole. Comparing your baby's mouth to a photo online isn't a diagnosis. It's a starting point for a conversation with the right provider.
If You're in the Thick of It Right Now
If you're exhausted and second-guessing yourself, remember: none of this is your fault. Your baby struggling to feed isn't a reflection of you or your body. It’s not a reflection on your baby either! They aren’t lazy. They aren’t fighting you. They’re doing their best with the limitations they have right now and communicating that with you the only way they know how.
There are specialized providers out there who can help you get the breastfeeding journey you had hoped for, and you don't have to figure out who to trust on your own.
How I Can Help
That's exactly why I created The Tongue-Tie Directory Guide. It's the roadmap I wish I'd had. It helps you find the right specialized providers from discovery to recovery so you can make informed decisions and navigate your baby's ties with confidence.
Don’t do it alone. It took me 4 years to find all the information I should’ve had from the start. Now you can know exactly what to do, who to call, and what questions to ask within 24 hours.
